Nice to see you all here again. It's time for another sizable update, starting with a full metric tonne of news items, followed by enough quality demos to re-float a beached whale.

First off we have a cool animated gif from Denis Nazarov. I won't say too much about it, except that it's nearly a meg in size so those of you without broadband should probably save it locally while you read the rest of this drivel and then watch it later. Get it here.

Next, some serious shit for the Danish Quake (specifically QuakeWorld) community has been brought to our attention by Kemo. Go here to support them in their hour of need and try to stop every public server turning into a counterfuckingstrike server.

For those of you the detest these Jonny-come-lately graphical windowsy operating systems Nolan has released v2.9 of the command line version of Dzip.

Also, the hard working man that supplies Denmark with most of it's electricity[1], Stubbz has added the latest demos to the Bunny Comparison page and also five new cheated demos to the Cheated Page. Well worth a look.

Unfortunately, things have been slacker than I expected on the Find A Spouse For Jube page. Only six entries so far, so I can only imagine you're all either choosing your words carefully or very shy. So sharpen your wit and get proposin'.

Just before we get around to the demos I'd just like to mention that I've been getting one or two comments about how I've been giving out too many M... D.......s to demos recently. I personally put this down to the incredibly high quality of recent demos, but if that's the way you feel then so be it. So despite the fact that we have three people doing nine improvements to five different Id records not a single one will be given a M**T D**NL**D. Here they are in episode/level order...

• Jozsef Szalontai has improved his Nightmare Run of The Crypt Of Decay, and it's another fine example of how speedrunning has progressed over the last couple of years. It used to be necessary to extend the first bridge; then you could OG jump across the gap; now Joe has shown that if you have hellish bunny skillz you can actually just jump the gap in one huge leap. This allowed him to first get a one second improvement to 0:43, and then a slightly cleaner run over the bridge and a much better grenade jump off the zombie at the end took the time down to 0:42. MANDATORY VIEWING
• Staying with Joe, he has further improved his recent Nightmare Run of the Ebon Fortress. The first was a one second, same route improvement to 0:48, but then he had a really damage free run, allowing him to skip the health before the RL and do the RJ over the ogre barrier. I'm sure you'll notice that he takes four shots to hit the three buttons, and that the time is 0:46.13!! COMPULSORY WATCHING
• Next up is Timo Nieminen who has taken one more second from his Easy Run of The Underearth. He thinks this 0:31 is optimum, and I think he's probably right. DO NOT MISS THIS DEMO
• On to Daniel Hansson who just can't leave the Easy 100% of Wind Tunnels alone. And while he keeps making improvements like these why the hell should he? First he made a one second improvement to 1:28, but because his route tweaks after the second quad saved at least two seconds he had to wait before RJing himself out of the secret. But he soon found a way around that problem and got a 1:26 and then a 1:25. ENSURE YOU TRANSFER THE .DZ TO YOUR LOCAL MACHINE, EXTRACT THE DEMO AND WATCH IT
• Daniel also did a one second improvement to his Easy 100% of The Elder God Shrine. Luckily for me, as I'm running out of terms to describe absolute action, this 1:27 only rates FAIRLY GOOD. :-)

Daniel also took both gatordiv Run records from Rickard. The Easy Run by one second to 0:56 and the Nightmare Run by four big seconds to 0:57.

Next up is the very welcome return of 01d 5k001 runner and technical guru Stefan Schwoon. Now that he finally has some spare time on his hands he has done his first run for eight months, the Easy 100% of csa in 1:42. He has also added a new feature to the tables, a list of the 15 oldest Id records. So if you're looking for inspiration for your next demo, these oldies should be fairly easy to beat. :-)

Rickard Axelsson has not been idle this week with two nice Nightmare 100% demos...

• He did a seven second improvement of Justin's doom2_04 record. This 0:47 means there's only the Easy 100% to go to give total Axelsson control (in one form or another) of this level.
• He also did a three second improvement to Fabian's Nightmare 100% of hotel. 0:56.

Arturo Garcia Lasca is continuing to work on the networld records. This time he beat Marlo's Easy 100% by three seconds to 1:29.

When he isn't making gifs Denn is sometimes known to make rather rash threats. He has decided to take revenge on Joe for beating his recent arma record by doing a couple of very impressive improvements to Joe's commctr, first by three seconds to 0:36 and then a two seconds faster still in this bitching 0:34. Now, you certainly have some excellent skillz and you're improving all the time, but are you sure you're ready to start a war with Joe??

And finally, a coop record that officially makes rd1m2 the most popular non-id map in the archive from Carl Tholin, Daniel Hansson and Daniel Andersson. They beat Marlo, Fabian and Stefan's Nightmare 100% by six seconds to get 1:09.

And finally, check out Joe's new profile and picture of him and his new girlfriend. :-P

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] They attached a dynamo to his right forearm and it gives enough rapid "back and forth" motion over the course of the day to produce 1 GW/h of electricity. Strange but true.

Welcome, my friends, welcome. It's update time yet again and this promises to be another huge extravaganza of an update, packed full of demos, moronic comment and marrowbone jelly. SDA : The only speedrunning site you'll ever need...or your money back![1]

Before we get to the demos I have a little suprise for you all. Regular readers will know that I recently had to jilt PlanetQuake's siren of desire Jube due to a slight misunderstanding in the marriage laws. But what kind of a pimp man would I be if I left the situation like that? Why should she have to spend her days dreaming of what might have been when there's enough prime, single man-flesh reading these words to cover the Great Wall of China, just sitting round waiting for love to cross it's path. So bring a little light into the world. Go here.

Back to normality, or at least as normal as you can get when you're dealing with Amrik Kochhar. Do you remember those heady days back in the autumn (or "fall" as certain, less civilised, cultures will try and call it) of 1998 when SDA was gripped by "End Madness" as the thought-to-be-optimised Easy Run of Shub-Niggurath's Pit was broken five times in one month? Since then, Fredrik's 0:18 has been assumed to be the optimum time for the new route, but now in a tour-de-force of FATF[tm] Amrik has produced this superb 0:17. MUST DOWNLOAD

We have one other improvement to an SP Id record. Daniel Hansson has done his fourth successive one second improvement to the Easy 100% of the Wind Tunnels to bring the time down to 1:29. MUST DOWNLOAD

He also did two other demos. No prizes for guessing that one of them is on a czg07 level.

• He improved his Easy 100% of czg07a by a further eighteen seconds to 4:07. This is his tenth demo on this map and his thirty-sixth on this episode. :-)
• He also improved his badland2 Easy 100% by two seconds to 2:51.

Continuing his newly found rush into the world of single player speedrunning, Rickard Axelsson has gone gatordiv crazy.

• He beat Daniel's Easy run of this lava-heavy map by three seconds, taking the time down to 0:57.
• And being the methodical kind, he also improved the Nightmare Run down to 1:01, four seconds faster than Matthias.

It's always a pleasure to receive a clutch of demos from Arturo Garcia "People Skills" Lasca, especially when they're accompanied by one of his polite, humorous e-mails.

• He might have all the personal affability of a dead raccoon[2] but you can't deny his killing skillz. This week he went to work on Thomas's 100% records for damaul3b.
  • The Easy 100% saw a big improvement of five seconds to 0:42. But that didn't come close to...
  • ...his eight second destruction of the Nightmare 100%. Smooth play, efficient killing and just a sprinkle of luck with the monsters gave him an impressive 0:40.
• Then he decided to find a different map to show his speed on and chose networld. Daniel's Easy Run soon crumbled to this two second improvement to 1:08.

Only one demo this time from Jozsef Szalontai but at least he's had the descency to make it optimum. There's a lot going on in a very short space of time as he beat Peter's Nightmare Run of dma1 by one second. If you blink you'll miss this 0:06. And if that's not enough Joe action for all you Szalontaholics out there then head on over to IllMind Moves where, rather predictably when you think about it, guess who it was that won the recent trick jumping contest...

Carl Tholin has improved both non-bouncy runs on rd1m2. Which makes the map the equal first most popular non-id map in the history of everything ever! C'mon people. Just one more demo will make Jesse a very happy and proud man. :-)

• He improved Ilkka's Easy Run by one second to 0:22 by using the curly grenade jump across the watery bit, the first time we've seen this done in a SP demo without the benefit of bunnies. MUST DOWNLOAD
• He then improved Robert's much longer and harder (oo-er!) Nightmare Run by three seconds to 0:51. It would have been by four seconds if he'd have had the balls to do the jump above instead of skipping round the platforms like a little schoolgirl. :-)

If any man deserves to have a wallet with "Bad Mother Fucker" burnt on it then it's Thomas "L" Bergendorff. He has revisited fatalpla and shown us just how much better the new, improved Lodis is compared to the old Bergie. 2:44, twenty five seconds faster.

More shenanigans on the level that half the world seems to want to improve at the moment, well.

• Fern started things off by slicking up his Nightmare Run route, gaining an extra two seconds to 0:49.
• But Rickard reclaimed his record by preserving his speed better after the boost over the trigger. This gave him one more second to 0:48.
• He also recaptured his Easy Run in the same manner with this 0:47, three seconds faster than Fern.

Rickard also teamed up with his brother Robert Axelsson to bring us some more staggering coops.

• They began with an amazing Easy Run of Gloom Keep in 0:13, one second faster than Attila and Peter. I think this is probably "the O word", but if you mention it too loud around a coop demo then it breaks the tables and brings down the GameSpy servers so I'll just say it's a MUST DOWNLOAD and leave it at that.
• They also did the Nightmare Run in 0:14. Same route, same improvement.
• Finally, they managed to squeak another second out of the Easy Run of The Tomb Of Terror. Getting the monsters to behave in this 0:21 must have been hell, but it's one second faster than Ilkka and Juho so fair play to them.

That's all the demos for today so now, as promised, a brief rundown of the whys, wherefores and wildebeest of that wonderful institution that is Speed Demos Archive.

• SDA is currently maintained by Me (who writes most of the demo updates and so gets most of the praise and credit), Stubbz (who does most of the actual hard work), Nolan (the site founder and essential background task do-er) and Lodis (who looks after our IRC channel and swears at people when he's drunk.)
• If you want to watch any of the newer demos or send us your demos then you should get the latest version of Dzip.
• Send your demos to sda, unless they're Bunny Comparison or Run of the Whenever demos, in which case they should go to Stubbz only.
• If you want to watch a demo or try a run on a map but don't actually have the map then a download link is provided on each map's record page. For a full list of maps we are accepting runs on click on the TABLES tag on the left.
• We're happy to listen to any suggestion, question, query or constructive criticism, but if you start to bitch at us we'll come round to your house and do bizarre, illegal and highly improper things to your pets. You have been warned.
• Oh shit. Look at the time. I have to go. Catch you all later in #qdq!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] Sorry, Adam. Couldn't resist it. I do, of course, mean Quake Speedrunning.
[2] No offence meant to any raccoons that have recently lost a loved one. ;-)

You know how the old saying goes; "Another five days, another fifteen demos." Or something like that anyway. So watch them all! Or just watch some! Or even don't watch any! But if you do that you'll be missing out on some seriously good shit.

Let's start off with something that's becoming a wonderfully regular feature of the updates...

The MUST DOWNLOAD Jozsef Szalontai Id record improvements!

• First the big Hungarian showoff went for the Nightmare Run of The Underearth and managed to luck his way to a 0:35, one second faster than Robert. (Well, I say "luck". It's more like unbelievable skill. But let's not quibble over terms.)
• Then he stripped DanielH of his Wind Tunnels Easy Run by one second, clocking in at 0:57. Will anyone manage to "deaden" the remaining two wind tunnel exits?

Nolan Pflug improved his Nightmare Run of zer1m6 a few minutes before the last update was posted but I really couldn't be arsed to add it in. So this eleven second improvement to 2:03 has been maturing like a fine wine for the last few days. Check out the perfectly executed "quad gren jump with added rafter bunny" and the ogre grenade near the end that nearly ruined it all. :-)

Contrary to his American heritage, Fern has used the power of common sense (and impulse 211) to completely destroy Rickard's recent well runs. Using a quicker grenade jump (saving one or two seconds) and a boost to avoid the trigger that starts the whole "dog" sequence (saving over a minute!!) he improved the Nightmare Run by sixty-eight seconds to 0:51 and then the Easy Run by sixty-seven seconds to 0:50.

Denis Nazarov has produced two excellent improvements to Sebastian's 100% demos on the truly ugly flyer. Some clever play netted him a three second improvement to 0:24 on both skills. Easy. Nightmare.

My personal role model, Arturo Garcia Lasca, has done the Nightmare Run of fatalpla three seconds faster than DanielM, giving him a time of 0:55. This takes the Nightmare Run time down to the same as Erik's original Easy Run time. Not that there's anything that unusual about that, I just thought I'd mention it. :-)

The rather infrequent tornado, Amrik Kochhar, has taken another step towards getting the Easy Run of rd1m1 under 0:40 with another one second improvement to 0:41. Only two more seconds to find...

Back to Joe who has also done one custom demo this week. He improved Thomas's Nightmare Run of mcm01 by four seconds to 0:36 using the same tricks as in Evan's Easy Run. He says this should be easily improvable by anyone, to which I, rather cleverly, reposte "BOLLOCKS". :-)

We're going to sprint for the finish now with a stack of demos from Sweden. Mostly from The Udders but also a coop from The Uppers.

Carl Tholin refuses to get dragged into the great bunny heresy and continues to improve "proper" RDE records. This time it's an eleven second improvement to DanielL's Easy 100% of rdend. All the way through this 2:49 I kept expecting him to start hopping. After all this time and all these thousands of demos it just looks so unnatural to just run in a straight line.

Daniel Andersson soaked up a little blue ambience in the azurette, calmly improving his Easy Run by four seconds to 0:41.

And if Andersson demos are your thing then these two Jonny Andersson improvements to the Easy 100% of rwa1 should be all you need to get your juices flowing. First a one second improvement to DanielL's record, 0:58, and then one second better than that. 0:57. Both feature intermission nails, but since he'd already killed everything before exiting they just turn out to be a rather attractive waste of ironmongery.

Just a few weeks after the release of all the QddQ demos (scroll down if you haven't seen them) Martin Selinus and Anders Nordensten have already improved one. At the time Stubby wondered why Martin and Robin didn't use the SP route (plus boosts) for the Easy Run of The Elder God Shrine. If they had then they could have been two seconds faster. 0:33.

It seems that the IllMind Moves contest was over before I'd even posted the link. Oh well. Ingmar's on holiday at the moment (at some German Animal Porn festival, I believe) so you'll have to wait a few days to see the winning entry.

And finally I'd like to say a big hello to all the new people that seem to be visiting us at the moment. We'll (probably) be doing one of our semi-regular "This is SDA" updates in the next few days (I was going to do it here but time, once again, has got the better of me. Mostly due to Lodis and myself spending several hours checking out a bunch of new maps) but if you have any questions then the answer is probably tucked away under the Site Info tag to your left. If not feel free to mail us or drop in to #qdq on quakenet where our highly skilled team will be pleased to pretend they're not there.

Missing you already...

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Just a little quickie to inform you that there's another handful of demos up on the Bunny Comparison page. Two of these demos are out of this world! I think there can be little doubt now that Markus is the Bunny Master! If you don't believe me, then I challenge you to dublicate, or at least make an attempt to get as fast as he did on e2m1...you'll fail for sure! Also, Weixing's 100m demo is a masterpiece in bunny madness too. His bunnies look awkward though, but apparently they're fast as lightning! Check out the Bunny Comparison for more.

There should be a ROTW contest up soon. I know it's been too long, but I've been a slacker lately....

It's been another hectic weekend here at SDA. Fifteen new demos have hit our inbox since the last update and not a duff one amongst them. We are in the process of sorting out some new maps for release but while the number and quality of demos remains this high we'll probably hang on another week or so.

We'll start off with our first visit to the mysterious world of the fiendish Jozsef Szalontai and two demos in the ever popular Ebon Fortress.

• The first is a three second improvement of Timo's Nightmare run. Some of the time is saved by using Joe-speed bunnying but the biggest saving (perhaps a whole second!!) is a totally obvious trick at the silver key door that I can't believe we haven't seen before. When I saw it I thought "surely you can't do that, otherwise everyone would have done it", but there you go. 0:49. MUST DOWNLOAD.
• Then he proved that no record is safe from Joe-2002 with this 0:40 Easy Run, one second faster than Sergi. Even Joe isn't sure where the one second comes from, and Sergi was a faaast hopper. Be afraid, people. MUST DOWNLOAD

Nolan Pflug found himself with some idle time after preparing the latest version of dzip for release (get it here!) and set about improving the nightmare records on (IMHO) one of the cleverest and best looking maps in the archive, zer1m6.

• First to fall was the Nightmare Run which he did fifteen seconds faster than Jim. Much plummeting followed by much killing followed by much climbing (with some sweet grenade assistance). 2:14.
• Then he destroyed his own Nightmare 100% by twenty three seconds to 2:55.
• Which is the same time as his Easy 100%, so he thought he'd better improve that too. It proved to be much harder but he still managed six more seconds to 2:49.

Back to Joe for two more demos...

• Following on from his Easy Run last update, he improved Valeriy's Nightmare Run of doom2_08 by the same amount, two seconds, to get 0:22.
• Then he sent in a demo he made some time ago but forgot to send in. The Easy Run of arma2 in 0:27, one second faster than Denn's recent run.

But Denis Nazarov will not let the trauma of losing his first record have any effect on his playing. And to prove it he has tackled the flyer Easy Run and improved it to 0:13, one second faster than Sebastian's demo. This will be hugely difficult to beat, it might even be "the O word", and he also predicts that the Nightmare Run could be done in the same time...

Making one final big push on his Nightmare 100% of fc_coag is Weixing Ye. He has shaved off another two seconds to get 61 kills in 61 seconds, notwithstanding the fact that the last two were intermission grenade kills. :-) It also looks like OpenGL will be moving on to some new maps and new records, providing he can find somewhere to live for the summer...

Only a madman would think that it was possible to own all the SP records on carnage. Luckily, just when you need a madman, along comes Thomas Bergendorff.

• If you've never tried this map on Nightmare then you should (unless you're a total pussy). The huge numbers of monsters and narrow corridors make it very frustrating and even with the 37 quads and huge piles of weapons and ammo this 1:28 Nightmare Run, nineteen seconds faster than Daniel, is very impressive.
• And that goes double for this 2:04 Nightmare 100%, two seconds faster than Justin to give him 70741 13v31 0wn493.

Returning to Joe for the final time to prove that Denn's prediction (above) was correct. flyer Nightmare Run in 0:13. :-)

Not content with doing some of the coolest coops around, Rickard Axelsson has finally done some demos on his own. He decided he could massively increase his popularity by taking records from the SDA staff, starting with Bergo and Pflugo's well runs.

• He started with some nice grenade work around the two switches then screwed up the boost off the knight but still managed to improve Lodis's Easy record by one second to 1:57.
• He then used the same route, with some bad grenade work around the two switches but a nice boost off the knight to improve Radix's Nightmare Run by fourteen seconds. 1:59

Our final demo comes all the way from Amrik Kochhar, who has decided to reinforce Snoop's opinion that the Easy Run of rd1m1 could be done in under 0:40 by improving it by one more second to 0:42. Who has the skillz to take this three seconds further? Well, I can think of about ten people, including both David and Amrik...

Don't forget to head on over to IllMind Moves where Ingmar has set up a quick, simple and yet fiendishly difficult trick jumping challenge on a map I'm glad someone is finally doing something with. (Yes, I know Contract Revoked used it...)

It also appears from the news item on Saturday at PlanetQuake that I inadvertantly proposed marriage to Jube in the last update! Now, I can understand the attraction of wanting to be Mrs Morfans, what with me being young(ish), devilishly handsome, criminally intelligent, staggeringly witty AND a sexual tyranosaurus, but I think my wife might have something to say about it. Sorry. :-)

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Speedrunners: You've never had it so good!

In the last three days we've had eight new demos from seven different people and none of them are people improving their own records by one second. [1] Some from established runners; some from the new runners; and one from an old face who has made one final demo. It's like slapping your cock over the demo freeway and waiting for the lights to go green. We'll start with two Id records.

I don't think anyone will be too suprised to learn that Thomas "Death Machine" Stubgaard has used the same trick as he did last update to improve the Valeriy's "optimised" Nightmare 100% of Shub's Pit. What is suprising is the way he gets the last kill. I don't think there is any doubt that it'll go down in history as the longest INK (Intermission Nail Kill) ever performed! 1:37 MUST DOWNLOAD

The second is from Jozsef Szalontai. He has done the "usual two second" improvement to Martin's Nightmare Run of the Crypt of Decay. The whole run is a little smoother than Martin's and he made it over "the bridge of death" slightly easier. But he also saved a full two seconds doing the final grenade jump off of the zombie, so I thought that this 0:44 was going to be faster. It's still MUST DOWNLOAD, though. :-)

The next demo is rather poignant. This Easy 100% of mexx5 by Mattias Berggren has taken over two and a half years to make. And it seems like it's been a hell of a time for Matti, too. So even if you don't watch the demo (which you should, because it's an arse-kicker) make sure you read the text file. It seems like this 3:02 will be his last ever speedrun. So welcome back..... and goodbye! Make sure you drop into #qdq some time.

Robert Axelsson is a cold killer. He let Ken run himself out on bfinal and then struck back with this two second improvement to the Easy Run. It's an unrelenting vore massacre, with maybe just a little touch of luck thrown in. 0:28

From the blackest depths of Russia come two more demos from Denis Nazarov, who has shown that he isn't just a man of verbal clarity but a man of huuuge bunny skillz too. He has taken both of the run records on arma2 by one second over their previous owners. The Easy in 0:28, formerly held by Marlo, and the Nightmare from Justin in 0:30. I just hope that one day Denn meets Basil on IRC. Now that would be a conversation worth trying to read. :-)

As most people are finding, bunnys alone do not make Runners Delight maps easy to run. But David Hocking has done a couple of sweet barrel jumps on rd1m1 to do the Easy Run four seconds faster than Carl's non-bunny run. 0:43.

Our final demo of the day is a three second improvement to Marlo's Easy 100% of the quad heavy carnage by Thomas "ph34r my Op" Bergendorff. Apparently, Thomas has been working on this run during some very hefty pr0n downloads recently, which explains the smoothness of this mouse action here and also why he usually goes a couple of months between demos. :-)

Finally, it's going to be tricky but I think I'm going to be able to get through mentioning that we were once again privileged to be PlanetQuake's "Site of the Day" yesterday, and that the lovely Jube gave us a very nice write up of the QdQ demo release last week without mentioning her, "being deeply touched" and "big fuzzy" all mixed up into one inuendo laden sentence.

And now, unfortunately, it's time to hit the pub. Due to a very fortuitous set of circumstances I have an evening of free drinking and food ahead of me. I can't pretend that the company will be particularly diverting but I guess one has to make certain sacrifices.

Toodle-oo!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] Not that improving your own record is a bad thing, you understand, but it's not as good as improving someone elses record by two or more seconds. Unless your record was thought to be optimum, then it's a major achievement. I'll tell you what, I'll shut up now. Oh, and yes, I'm aware that this isn't a record number of demos or anything but it's nice to see, none the less.

Here we go with another round up of truly inspiring demos. Once again it's been a full week between new demo updates but that's just because I've been so damned busy. But nothing, I repeat NOTHING can keep a Morfy from his update for long. And now that the football has all gone to shit it should be back to business as usual, but due to a long day at work and a nasty hangover I doubt that there'll be much in this update that's actually funny. :-)

When was the last time we saw a thought-to-be-optium Id record broken? Okay, it was a few days ago with the QdQ frenzy. But before that, very rarely. And even then it's usually using a new route or trick that saves at most a half dozen seconds. But do you ever remember a new trick that cut a thought-to-be-optium Id 100% record in half? Saving more than a minute?? Well, Thomas Stubgaard has taken his place in Quake history and performed the Easy 100% of The Jelly Pit in 0:56, sixty-one seconds faster than Valeriy using the lightning through the wall trick that is usually just used to wake monsters up (on such maps as The Old Shrine Thing and The Nameless City) to cause massive amounts of quadded shaft death.

He didn't stop there, though. He tried to optimise it with quicker fish kills and managed to save that all important second to 0:55. This features an environmental intermission kill, where one of the vores didn't quite die from the lightning abuse and teleported in after the Shub telefrag. Please note that this is NOT the same as the "everything gibs" trick which is banned for demos on this map. MUST DOWNLOAD

Jozsef Szalontai is continuing to attack the Blue Hell levels. He must really need a challenge; most of us thought these levels were close to perfect already!

• He started at the beginning, which seems a sensible enough place. He improved Robert's Easy 100% of jzblue_1 by one second to 0:15.
• The natural progression from there was to jzblue_2, this time the Nightmare 100% which he did in 0:18, one second faster than Martin. Total madness.
• But he then went on to take another second of this time leaving him at 0:17. Personally, I don't think this demo looks as good as the one above but it's a whole second faster and you can't argue with that. :-)
• It seems that even this was not enough to challenge him, though, so he moved on improving a Valeriy run. I wouldn't have expected him to ever improve the Easy Run of doom2_08 by two seconds so I guess this must be opti... No. I'm not going to say it. Just in case Valeriy takes it back. 0:21.

I must also apologise to Aleksander Osipov who sent in this hip2m6 Easy Run in 1:08, two seconds faster than Justin, ten days ago, but I forgot to include it in the last update. Check out the placing of the grenade for the jump over the bars. I love shit like that. :-)

More good news, this time from Wiexing Ye. It seems that he's finished his studies for now and that should mean that he has time to make some more demos. So hopefully this fc_coag Nightmare 100% in 1:03, one second faster than his previous record, is just the start! :-)

Denis Nazarov has sent in his second demo, and while it isn't as spectacular as his previous barrel extravaganza, it shows off his bunny skills very nicely. He improved Fabian's Easy run of fatalpla by one second to 0:47. Check out the "say" bind he uses by the gold key. If I had one of those I'd end up using it more often than my jump key. :-)

Robert Axelsson, Peter Abrahamsson and Rickard Axelsson have sent in some mind melting MadCoops.

• They notched up probably the biggest "kill to time" ratio ever recorded in this OPTIMUM Easy 100% of pg4. 0:05. MUST DOWNLOAD
• They did much the same to the Nightmare 100%. I don't think that Peter missing with one rocket had any effect on the time but it takes away that air of perfection. Don't get me wrong, this 0:10 is still a great demo.
• They moved on from there to The Ogre Citadel where they did a 3-player Nightmare Run in 0:34.
• Then Peter had to step out for a while to wax his weasel, which left the other two to improve Tommi and Kari's Easy 100% of Satan's Dark Delight. The did this in file style by two seconds to 0:56.
• When Peter returned, flushed from his exertions but feeling very relaxed, they all tore into pse_xxx on Easy skill. Some mad and (usually) coordinated play gave them this sweet 1:10.

You can almost smell the testosterone in this demo from Carl "Skin" Tholin and Johan "Fluid" Nilsson. They did a screaming Nightmare Run of rd1m2 in 0:33. When they mentioned in #qdq a couple of weeks ago that they were doing some coop, and then young Andersson (D not J) also showed up we thought "Cool. Udder-fest 2002 has begun!" But no. This was the only one they did. ;-)

I'd like to finish off by giving a big "congratulations" to Quake, who celebrated her 6th birthday over the weekend. While most games, particularly action games, rarely last more than a year or two Quake continues to kick arse in a big way. And before anyone says that it's a bit wierd to celebrate a game's birthday and refer to it with a personal pronoun I would like to say that I don't care. I'm obsessed and I'm proud of it. It was only due to some fierce fighting from my wife that our son, Isaac, isn't called Telefrag.

Enjoy!

NOTE : We are having some temporary technical trouble with the Gamespy Network so that none of our perl scripts are working at the moment. The upshot is that the tables and the file download scripts are b0rked. This will hopefully be fixed in the next couple of days but in the mean time please be patient. Nolan has changed the links on this page so that they now point directly to the FilePlanet downloads and the two big "All Demo" downloads should still work fine.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Today is truly a great day folks! We have nothing less than 20 Quake done Quick demos to post! I don't think you've seen so many great demos in one update. The reason for this initiative is that the Quake done Quick projects takes forever to do, and it would be a damn shame not to let every see these outstanding demos before they get 'outdated'. The only project you won't see any demos from is tRR (the Rabbit Run), and why you ask... well, we would still like to have at least one project left with a shitload of surprises and kickass demos :)

We'll start off with the demos from Quake done 100% Quick lite 2:

• The Necropolis in 1:00 by Peter Horvath. Outstanding demo, the best ever 100% in my opinion, period! Everything in this demo is simply pixel perfect, and the grenade-jump/wall-climbing trick at the end to lure the Zombie, truly is one of the best tricks ever seen in a 100% demo! And not to mention the perfectly placed grenade on the gold key platform, talk about skillz!! Peter is the devil himself....he truly is!
• Gloom Keep in 0:47 by Jozsef Szalontai. Pure madness from the Bunny Machine. Originally the demo that Jozsef had done for Qd100Qlite2 used the same route as always, but Stefan came up with an idea which enabled Joe to improve it by a few more seconds. It involves a new route.... I used to think Ilkka's e1m5_055 was unbeatable :)
• The Installation in 1:09 by Peter Horvath. This was the demo which kicked off the Qd100Qlite2 project, and what a way to do it! We all thought that this demo would carry the whole project, but that was until e1m3 came along :) But I'd say that this demo is one of the greatest 100% demos ever too!
• Termination Central in 1:10 by Martin Selinus. Martin has done an outstanding job on this map. I can't spot a single mistake in this demo. And the bunnies... oh my oh my! I doubt that this demo can be improved by much more.... But please prove me wrong if you're up for the challenge!
• The Sewage System in 0:53 by Jozsef Szalontai. Originally Ilkka had done the demo for the project, but soon after Peter did his e4m1_058 (Nightmare 100% demo which makes use of the nailgun intermission kill trick), it came apparent that Ilkka's demo wouldn't stand long.... Joe took it upon himself to deliver a piece of art. TWO intermission kills!! What more can you ask for? :)

Next up we have one demo from Quake done 100% Quick with a Vengeance:

• Termination Central in 1:30 by Me. Well, I don't usually like to flatter myself, but this demo is surely one of my best ever. It delivers very good/precise aim, nice bunnies, and lots of action. I totally inverted the old route, but that meant I had to make use of the bunny-slope jump to the window, just like in the runs on this map. And that's not an easy thing to do in a Nightmare 100% demo!

And finally we have an amazing amount of demos from Quake done double Quick lite: (the first 5 demos have been improved and you can get the faster demos beneath)

• Slipgate Complex in 0:21 by Attila & Peter. This demo was made before the barrel boost was invented....
• Castle of the Damned in 0:30 by Sergi & Jordi. A bit sloppy play, but not a bad demo at all. As you can see beneath, they improved it by one second with a lesser sloppy demo :)
• Ogre Citadel in 0:31 by Sergi & Jordi. Ehm, nothing much to say about this one. Same tricks and same route as Martin and Jonny's demo, just slighty slower.
• The Sewage System in 0:16 by Attila & Peter. Do the curl at the start, add some shotgun boosts, and use the 'get-out-of-the-water-fast' trick, then this demo is a piece of cake :)
• The Tower of Despair in 0:30 by Attila & Peter. The quad boost is quite cool, but as you can see from Martin and Niklas' 0:29 demo, it wasn't much of a timesaver after all.

This is the current state of the art, satisfaction guaranteed!:

• Slipgate Complex in 0:20 by Attila & Peter. Simply the best 2 player coop run ever in my opinion. The speed and the tricks are simply out of this world! It's a masterpiece indeed. The coolest thing is when Peter overtakes Attila by the slime :)
• Castle of the Damned in 0:29 by Sergi & Jordi. Overall smoother play than their 0:30 demo. The quad-boosts worked perfectly.
• The Necropolis in 0:25 by Sergi & Jordi. One of the most prestigious maps to conquer, and also one of the hardest to master, but the two Spaniards came up with ways to deal with all the tricky parts on this map.
• The Installation in 0:06 by Attila & Peter. Simple, but very effective boosts enabled the coop Gods to make the shortest 2 player coop on an id map ever! Is 0:05 possible? I think NOT!!! OPTMIZED!
• Ogre Citadel in 0:30 by Martin & Jonny. They made this demo during DreamHack, the biggest LAN event ever in Scandinavia (at least as far as I know). As you can see (if you're scandinavian that is) from the comments at the end of this demo, they weren't satisfied with this demo, but I don't know what kept them from improving it even further? Maybe it was the german anal drilling porn that ran nonstop on the big monitors that kept them from focusing on Quake....
• Termination Central in 0:23 by Sergi & Jordi. Two perfectly placed shotgun boost, and the window curl trick enabled the two Spaniards to do this difficult coop demo.
• The Sewage System in 0:15 by Martin & Anders. I was absolutely sure that Peter and Attila's 0:16 demo was optimized, but then Martin and Anders comes along and destroys my predictions with this optimized demo! :)
• The Tower of Despair in 0:29 by Martin & Niklas. Martin has this demo under full control. He even manages to shotgun boost Niklas while bunnying himself! Pretty impressive stuff.
• The Elder God Shrine in 0:35 by Martin & Robin. This is one of my favorite coop demos, due to the highly spectacular quad boosts and all the bunny madness. But wouldn't it be faster if player 1 used the same route as in the single player runs, or did I miss something obvious?

Keep in mind that this doesn't mean the Quake done Quick projects I've mentioned above has moved any closer to completion, you'll just have to crack your knuckles in anticipation for some time to come, it's as simple as that. In the famous words (slightly changed) of id Software; "They're done when they're done!" :)

To sum this up, I think we've fed you with enough ID demos for many months to come, and this should also give you an insight into the current state of the Quake done Quick projects.

To round this mammoth update off we have a new handful of demos on the Bunny Comparison page, including an insane e1m6 from Timo in 9:66! I've also posted two of the demos that weren't available before, e1m1 by Markus and e2m1 by Fabian. And finally I just wanna say how proud I am of my e2m1 demo! I'm getting close to be one of the 'Filthy Few' :)

ENJOY!!!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

We will dive straight in to the demos this week with Jozsef Szalontai and two MUST DOWNLOAD demos on jzblue_4.

• Just a day after saying "It might be possible to do the Nightmare 100% a second faster with a Chthon ball boost" he comes up with this amazingly accurate boost over the bars. 0:14, one second faster.
• And the same for the Easy 100%. One second faster than Sergi. 0:12.

We have finally had a proper run demo from RotW regular and Russian lingual contortionist Denis Nazarov. He has beaten DanielL's Easy Run of endtime by five seconds to get 0:49 in a demo he describes as "fully suxx and talentless", but which I would describe as "pretty bloody amazing". A double-slope-bunny jump, two well executed barrel jumps and loads of lovely curly bunnying. If you think this is talentless then I can't wait to see some demos that you're actually happy with! :-)

Speaking of talentless, Thomas "Scrotally Capacious" Stubgaard has done two improvements to Id Nightmare 100% records.

• First, he improved his current time on the incredibly frustrating Ziggurat Vertigo by three seconds to 1:16. It includes a nice example of the typical Danish "handbag snatch" just before the pent.
• Then he improved his record on The Underearth by five more seconds in a completely mad demo with much rushing backwards and forwards and grenades and axes flying all over the place. And because he also got an intermission grenade kill, he gets a MUST DOWNLOAD. 2:44.

Arturo Garcia Lasca has once again gone vore hunting on bfinal. This time he improved Robert's Easy Run by one second to 0:30. Go on Ken, try the Nightmare run. :-P

Showing that there's still some fight left in Denmark after their recent World Cup disappointment we have Mads-Peter Stubgaard. He tackled the Easy 100% of coopmine seventeen seconds faster than Matthias, exiting in 2:14.

Talking of weirdos, Amrik Kochhar has turned in a lovely piece of enforcer-boosted action, beating his old Easy Run of dxm by one second by managing to ride the boost up to the switch first time. This 0:12 will be very hard to beat, but I'm not giving it an optimum because I'm running really late and don't have time to change the history.txt entry. :-)

So we'll finish off the week's action with a couple of coops from Myself and Nolan Pflug. Before the weekend we briefly had time to have a run around on mexx9c, managing to get the Easy 100% down to 2:48(5:00) before time ran out on us. Then this morning, rather than finishing this update like I told everyone I would, we had another go at it. This time we did a much better 2:38.

I know it's been over a week since the last update, but a combination of watching the football, talking about the football, and drinking while talking about and watching the football has got in the way. Still, Thomas and Thomas should have plenty of time to update now that their respective countries and gone out. A fact made all the more galling because the US are still in. :-)

So expect a BIG suprise update at the end of the week. And while you're waiting, enjoy the demos.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Congratulations are due to Aleksander Osipov who was lucky enough to be our 300000th satisfied customer. (See here for the evidence). He walks off with the big cash prize and the promise of Danish sexual pleasures for the female of his choice! Truly it has been said: "SDA : Better than a lottery in a whorehouse."

Just for a change, we'll start the update with me. I've done one final (for now) demo on mexx9d, the Easy 100% in 5:54, just three seconds faster than Matthias.

And now we have some outstanding coops from Alex and Timo Nieminen. When Alex announced on Saturday in #qdq that Timo was coming over to visit and they would be doing some coops we naturally expected some rather special demos to be produced. When they both appeared back in the channel some hours later it was clear that they'd both been hitting the beers and the bongs (and, indeed, the beer bongs) a bit hard and it looked like the chance of them beating any records was slim at best. But luckily they seemed to sober up a little for Sunday and these were the results...

• Some nice loopy shotgun-and-slope acrobatics gave them a two second improvement over Attila and Peter's Easy Run of The Grizzly Grotto. 0:21.
• Then they optimised, yes, OPTIMISED, the Easy Run of The Door To Chthon with an 0:08 second run, one second faster than Attila and Peter. MUST DOWNLOAD.
• The wicked discharge jump and (I guess) some better bunnies in the Wind Tunnels improved Jonny and Daniel's Easy Run by one second to 0:33.
• The only Easy 100% of the session is also my favourite demo of the session. They improved Evan and Cameron's record on The Elder God Shrine by nine seconds. When you've drunk and smoked as much as these guys seemed to there is no way you should have enough control to do a quad boost off the knight by the gold key and be able to maintain the speed round the sharp lefthand corner and through both doors. It's just unnecessary showing off! 0:52.
• Their final demo looks like it might be optimum, too. It would certainly be hard work to save another .7 of a second, but just in case Joe and Markus ever get together and coop this record will not be added to the unbeatable list. This Hells Atrium Easy Run in 0:10 is also a MUST DOWNLOAD.
• They also played a bit of deathmatch when they were too frazzled to run. You can watch the results here. This demo is not included in the all demos download below as it was getting a bit big already and I know some of you poor, deprived people out there are running on slow modems. :-)

It must be exam time in New Zealand, because we've received a couple of demos from Tim Doherty.

• First he recaptured the Easy 100% of abw from Stefan by three seconds. 2:24.
• Then he destroyed my table filler Nightmare 100% of fmb8 by fifty-nine seconds demonstrating how lame the second and third fifths of my demo were. The ending of this 9:45 is a little messy and cautious, though, so maybe I'll give him a fight for it. :-)

It seems that the addition of bunnies to RDE has not been universally applauded! Carl Tholin has seen this as a blasphemy and to prove his point has improved his Easy 100% of rd1m2 without using bunnies by eleven seconds to 1:07. That's only four seconds slower that Joe's bunnied version.

David Hocking, on the other hand, is revelling in the new speed possibilities. He beat Ilkka's old Easy Run of rd1m3 by three seconds to get 0:36. He was a little unlucky with the boost at the end, but made up for it with a nicely aimed gren boost off a knight right to the exit door.

If you're going to try and take a couple of records on a map, you might as well choose some by the less optimal runners. But not if you're Arturo Garcia Lasca, who has improved the 100% records on bfinal, formerly held by Ilkka and Valeriy.

• Ilkka's Easy 100% dropped first, initially by one second to 0:38 and then the next day by one more second. 0:37.
• Valeriy's Nightmare 100% took a three second pasteing down to 0:41. This is a great demo, IMHO, even if Ken doesn't think so. ;-)

Bringing up the rear is Jozsef Szalontai who has once again proven the old speedrunning saying that "It can always be done faster (by Jozsef)!". He improved Robert's Nightmare 100% of jzblue_4 by one second to 0:15.

And that's all the demos I'm going to let you have for now. Except for the new stack that Stubby has added to the Bunny Comparison page. Highlights include a cool e1m6 from Timo and Joe moving to within 0.01 seconds of Markus's e2m1 time! He also removed the 110M Hurdles map from the page since noone has done any demos for it.

Finally, head on over to IllMind Moves which Ingmar has once again updated with some l00ny tricks and quirks. Whatever you do, don't miss Stubby's insane e4m3 rocket demo (with cool Vondur recam). It has to be seen to be believed.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

This update is all about numbers, folks. That's right. Numbers.

Firstly, the demos from the last update have given us a few cool landmarks.

• The mexx9d coop was not only Nolan's 100th coop demo, but it also moved Me into the top twenty on the main Player Statistics page!
• That update also gave us our first change to the top three on the Player Stats in a long, long time as his czg07c demo finally allowed Daniel Hansson to usurp Ilkka from the number three spot he's held for the last couple of years.

But the big news is that we are a mere few hundred hits away from the big three-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! (That's three hundred thousand). This calls for a celebration and quite possibly a big prize give away! So if you can get take a screen shot of the hit counter at 300000 and mail it to me then some, one, none or all of the following prizes could be yours!!!

• Your name mentioned in the next update! (Assuming we've hit 300000 by then).
• A selection of various cool things that we'll promise you but never deliver!
• The chance for your girlfriend/sister/mother to travel to Denmark (at their own expense) and spend a night of love with Stubby The Viking Sex Machine! [1]
• One US dollar, which looks genuine to me, that someone sent me through the post as an advertising gimmick! (Postal address needed if you want this. Sending cash through the post to other countries is (I think) illegal but what the fuck).

So there you go. Fame, stuff, sex and money. What more could you want!

Todays final numbers are the number ONE and the number NIL. 'Nuff said. :-)

[1] I've assummed that the winner will be male. If you are female then you can choose to go to Denmark yourself or, as a special "chicks only" bonus prize, once you've spent the night in Denmark you can travel to Sweden and find out why Lodis is known as Big Bergie.

Football fever has gripped the entire civilised world. And while the civilised world is enjoying such sights as an inferior Swedish team drawing with a crap English team; the French losing; and the Saudi's getting narrowly beaten 8-0, the US is looking on with some confusion. According to one highly respected source[1] the three most common questions in the United states at the moment are...

1. Well gee whizz! How can they say this is a WORLD cup? Most of the teams aren't even American!
2. Tar ma hide and shut ma mouth! How can they call this football? They keep using their feet to hit the ball!
3. I want another burger.[2]

This, of course, doesn't include any Americans associated with, formerly associated with, who've submitted demos to or who read this site, or the families, friends and non-conjugal pets thereof.

Anyway, all this hasn't done anything to lower the quality of the demos we've received this week. Starting with the new, bunny-enabled RDE.

• The first demo to fall before the all-conquering bunny's fluffy jackboot was Ilkka's incredible rd1m2 Easy Run. Robert Axelsson returns to SP form with this 0:22, one second faster.
• But that didn't last long as Jozsef Szalontai began his assault on the RDE levels with this 0:21. You simply MUST DOWNLOAD this demo to see where he finds the extra second.
• He then did the Easy 100% on the same map in 1:03, 15 seconds faster than Carl's non-bunny version. This would also have been a MUST DOWNLOAD except that the grenade work at the end is slightly messy. :-P
• He then did the Easy Run of rd1m4 in 0:29, two seconds faster than Ilkka's dead bunny run.
• Robert teamed up with his brother Rickard Axelsson in a display of pure coop running on rd1m1.
  • They did the HUUUGGGGGE quad SSG boost even earlier than Peter and Attila did in their Nightmare Run. That and the addition of a bunny or two saved them two seconds to 0:18.
  • It was much the same story using a cool triple quad boomstick boost on the Easy Run. Two seconds faster than Ilkka and Juho gave them this 0:19

Arturo Garcia Lasca couldn't wait for Weixing to reply to his sgodrun2 Nightmare Long Way Run and went ahead and improved it himself by two seconds to 1:31.

Daniel Hansson, who for some reason hasn't done any RDE bunny demos yet, has a simple philosophy: If he invents a trick, he's having the record. So with this in mind he improved Jonny's Easy run of czg07c by one second to 0:30. If you don't know this level really well you will never keep up with the route. Loads of twisting and turning and jumping while looking straight at the floor make this a very fast, but very confusing demo. :-)

I decided that my two recent demos on mexx9d just weren't risky enough and so set about improving them both.

• First the nIGHTMARE rUN IN (DAMN, cAPS lOCK IS ON. ONE SECOND. That's better) the far more respectable time of 7:49, eighty-three seconds faster than my previous.
• And the Nightmare 100% in 9:08, 137 seconds faster than my previous demo and eight seconds faster than the Nightmare Run I posted last week. :-)

Such mexx9d based antics allow us to segue nicely into the remainder of this weeks coop action with Nolan Pflug and Myself teaming up to do the first ever coop on this huge map. Despite Nolan having a 250 ping and me having a natural 250 ping we did a very nice Easy 100% in 3:55(5:57). Due to a bug in the QC for this map Nolan had to hack the progs to allow us to get all the kills. If you wish to do 100% coops yourself on this map you'll either have to wait for him to do a full QdQstats progs.dat for it or ask us to send you the hacked version.

Back to The Axelsson Brothers Formation Death Team for the final demo of the update. They followed up their Easy 100% of doom2_04 from the last update with a Nightmare Version in the time of 0:34, three seconds faster than Stefan and Matthias.

Keep 'em coming, folks. The springtime of lovin' is over and it's time for the summer of runnin' to get under way. We'll have some more new maps for you soon and also a throat-rippingly good suprise, which I'm not going to tell you any more about yet otherwise it wouldn't be a suprise. And don't bug me about it either. Bug Tha' Choirfella, it was his bright idea. :-)

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

[1] Actually, I made it all up to try and get a cheap laugh.
[2] Okay, so this isn't actually a question, but I'm not going to let grammar get in the way of me insulting a quarter of a billion people.